Wednesday
I rose in the morning at 6.20 am and went to the loo and
noticed some dark green mucus. I had a period pain lasting about three minutes
when I returned to bed and felt the sensation of mucus coming down. Went to the
loo again at 6.50 am – there was much more green mucus (darker colour) and
slightly bloodstained. As Maxwell was 10 days early I felt sure this baby would
be early too and this was six days before my due date of 10 December 2002. At
7.00 am there was a small amount of mucus which was also blood stained.
Although I wasn’t having typical contraction pain I called
Sarah and Fiona who had agreed to be my (and Maxwell’s) support people, to let
them know the status. I also called our midwife, Robyn Maude – same
midwife as with Maxwell’s birth, and talked her through what was happening.
She said she would be at University from 8.30 am and to call all her numbers to
contact her if I needed to.
At 9.00 am I had a shower and also did poos – more blood
stained wipes. From then until midday I had the odd twinge/Braxton Hicks/period
pain but nothing felt established. I was nervously excited and knew that
everything was ready. My most anxious thoughts were for Maxwell’s care and I
had written a very comprehensive list of everything a carer needed to know. I
was concerned mostly that this labour would turn into the marathon effort it was
with Maxwell and that both Richard and I would have to leave little Maxwell (22
months) in someone else’s care – never having left him with anyone before.
There was also a possibility that Sarah's baby would come at the same time (but
she thankfully held on for another ten days!).
At 12.15 pm Robyn called. We discussed progress and she felt
the baby would arrive tomorrow as things weren’t kicking into gear. I felt
pleased about that because I didn’t like the date ‘4 December’ but I
really liked ‘5 December’… More numerology to follow later. At 2.30 pm I
took a Gelsemium 200 (homoeopathic remedy) for anticipatory anxiety/posterior
baby/slow to progress. I also taped some mung beans to the soles of my feet to
make use of the calming acupressure point. I felt these helped.
I had a lovely afternoon with Maxwell and Richard. We did some
grocery shopping and went to Café L’Affare for a decaf mocchaccino. While we
were there I couldn’t sit down and had to lean over a table for a good three
minutes with the most intense Braxton Hicks pain yet. I wanted to make the most
of my time with just Maxwell knowing that from tomorrow (?) onwards our lives
would totally change.
I made dinner at 6.00 pm to keep myself busy and had lots of
contractions as close as three minutes apart. I phoned Robyn and she still felt
the baby would arrive tomorrow so recommended that I have a bath and an early
night to relax. So I had a lovely lavender bath and went to bed at 9.15 pm,
wondering what tomorrow would hold and whether I would get a full night’s
sleep. Richard spent some of the evening studying up on the acupressure
notes and on my specially prepared homoeopathic remedies.
Thursday
From about midnight onwards I felt some strong period pains
and although I didn’t wake fully I was aware of having to breathe deeply and
slowly through them. At 6.30 am, feeling thankful that I had had a pretty good
uninterrupted sleep, I went to the loo and had lots of squittery poos and mild
bleeding. From then on I was having good strong contractions and lots of pain.
Mentally and emotionally I felt good and ready and mildly excited. I had some
breakfast but was aware that my appetite wasn’t great. At 9.00 am I did more
squittery poos and continued having good strong pains although they weren’t
regular.
At 10.15 am I spoke with Robyn. She thought the baby might be
posterior, but I was having good prostaglandin action with the contractions and
poos and that the poos were often an indication that the body was trying to get
the baby in the right position. She suggested I try the ankle acupressure points
to help the cervix dilate and to get the contractions more regular. She
encouraged me to be patient, but to get hold of her promptly when I felt I
needed to because things would happen quickly once labour was established. I
felt very encouraged by this.
At this time also we phoned Nana Alison and asked her to come
around. A friend of hers was about to visit her who was able to drop her off at
our place – good timing. I phoned Sarah who was still on standby but didn’t
feel I needed to phone Fiona unless we needed someone else to help. I said I
would phone Sarah as soon as I needed her. Both of her children were being cared
for so she was free to race around.
I was starting to feel a little nauseous so put the homemade
sea bands onto my wrists (elastic with a button sewn onto them) and these worked
immediately. I felt the edge go off the nausea and I felt my head clear a
little. I think I was taking drops of Emergency Essence quite a lot. I also held
the ankle acupressure point for 60 seconds. I continued having contractions that
were good, but irregular. At 10.44 am I tried the ankle point again for 60
seconds. At 11.00 am Richard and I took Maxwell for
a walk in the buggy to get him to sleep. I pushed the buggy so that I had
something to hold on to. We walked to Norwich Street and back to Lytton Street.
As we reached the top of the street again a car slowed down and it was Alison’s
friend who had just dropped her off. So Richard went back down to see her. I
continued walking up to Margaret Street. I walked extremely slowly and used the
hand acupressure points to establish labour. It was lovely being outside on such
a gorgeous sunny day and the fresh air was delightful. I rather felt that things
were picking up soon after this. I managed about an hour’s walk and got home
to find Alison in the lounge and Richard having just finished reassembling the
cot as a ‘viewing seat’ in the birth room downstairs. I took an Arnica 200
and used the ankle point again.
I called Sarah at 12.10 pm and Robyn shortly after and asked
them to come around now. Robyn asked if I what my thoughts were on having Sonja,
the student midwife along. I said she could be a useful pair of hands but needed
her to keep quiet and be respectful of the atmosphere we were trying to create.
Maxwell woke around now and Alison tried to get him but he wanted me. We sat in
front of the TV watching a video and he asked for booby which we did. I thought
that this would be the last breastfeed for just Maxwell and also that it may
help establish my contractions. I was fine sitting breastfeeding but when I got
up I felt the contractions kick in again.
Richard got the ironing board out for me and we set it up in
the kitchen and then he went to set up the birth pool in the birth room
downstairs. I managed to iron only about three shirts but at least I was doing
something and could lean on the ironing board and kitchen bench when the
contractions came. They were certainly stronger now and Robyn had indicated that
when I couldn’t manage to talk through them then it was time to call her. They
were getting that way now. Maxwell and Alison were playing very happily together
which calmed me a lot. Sarah arrived at 1.15 pm as I finished the last shirt I
could manage and we packed the ironing board away. She suggested I drink some
spirulina but I couldn’t manage much. I showed her (and Alison earlier) the
list for Maxwell and we got some goodies out for his lunch and tea. I took
another Gelsemium 200.
Robyn arrived at 1.10 pm. I felt it was time to move
downstairs so I went and put something more comfortable on. I tried my blue
linen shirt but felt it didn’t cover me enough so
Richard gave me his lovely blue shirt. I wandered inside for a while and then
out on to the deck. Someone was engaged in some pretty intense weed-eating
nearby so it wasn’t particularly peaceful but it was nice to get the fresh
air. We also discovered that new people were moving in to the townhouse attached
to ours and that there was a big moving truck blocking our driveway. We decided
that Richard should let them know that we were having a baby here just in case
they needed to move the truck so that we could get out. They expressed stunned
disbelief but I’m sure they got the point when the
screaming started later.
I recall the first foetal heartbeat Robyn took with her
monitor as baby girl had hiccups and they were registering extremely loudly! I
was labouring in the birth room when Sonja arrived. She was talking quite a bit
at times and I recall ‘sssshhhing’ her at one point. I also remember
starting to answer a question Robyn had asked me and finishing it after a
contraction. At 1.55 pm I started asking for acupressure which Richard applied
to the sacral points. However, I don’t think we got the right points and
although they transferred the pain they didn’t relieve the pain. The birth
pool was still filling (the califont was great) and I wanted to delay getting in
to the pool for as long as possible as I didn’t want to slow the contractions
down with the relieving effect of the water. At 2.00 pm I did more poos while
Sonja (who had arrived shortly before) and Robyn went through their gear and
sorted stuff out. My contractions were reasonably regular now.
I still had my head about me but was wondering all the time
just how long this would take. I moved back into the birthing room and laboured
some more, leaning against the pool and on all fours at times. At 2.15 pm Robyn
notes that my contractions were strengthening with 3-4:10 ratio. She notes that
baby’s heartbeat rose to 180 during a contraction then settled back down to
155 after. I started feeling nauseous after this and took some arsenicum. I was
so pleased I wasn’t throwing up though! I was also holding combs in both hands
for the acupressure points – for the natural release of endorphins. At 2.50 pm
I started getting a little tearful as the contractions were increasing in
strength. I asked for the swiss ball and used that to lean over whilst I
contracted. I was started to really have to concentrate now.
At times Richard would do the acupressure and at other times
Sonja did. I think Sonja was pleased to be involved and to learn to do something
new and to be useful. I was certainly pleased to have her there as it meant that
Richard could do other things as he needed to. The pool had been filled and a
heater put into it to keep the temperature nice and warm. The contractions were
definitely in my lower tummy – still manageable. I started at that time (3.00
pm) to get the feeling of wanting to push although it wasn’t all consuming -
it was just a hint of bowel pressure. At that stage I started thinking about
getting into the pool. I recall thinking as I disrobed that I didn’t actually
feel like being naked in front of these people just yet!
At 3.05 pm I hopped in to the water and it felt wonderful. I
squatted in the water initially on both feet then kneeling on one knee. The
position felt good but I didn’t feel yet that I was close to giving birth. I
was feeling lots of bowel pressure though and my contractions seem to change
their ‘sound’ with me doing a lot more grunting and lower moaning. Robyn was
strategically positioned with her torch and mirror to check what was going on
under me! We turned our beautiful music on to keep the mood nice and calm but I
actually found it surprisingly distracting and preferred silence. Interestingly
the CD switched off after a couple of tracks anyway.
Maxwell came down with Sarah at one stage to see Mummy. Sarah
thought to take his t-shirt off because he put his arms in the pool and she didn’t
want him getting too wet. He took that as a sign that he would be hopping in the
pool with me and got a bit upset that he wasn’t. He stayed for a short time
and I loved seeing him. I was glad though when Sarah took him away as I needed
to concentrate. Richard was leaning into the pool doing acupressure even though
this still wasn’t feeling terribly effective. Some time around now our back-up
midwife, Anne, arrived. She was very discreet and stayed quietly in the
background.
At 3.35 pm I was pushing but nothing much felt like it was
happening. I stayed contracting in the pool for just over half an hour at which
point I suddenly felt I needed to stand up. Just as I was about to voice that,
Robyn said, “Sara, I think it might help if you get up and move around;
perhaps you could go to the bathroom.” I said that I had been thinking exactly
the same thing and that I would do that. I was pleased that we seemed to be on
the same wavelength as that increased my trust in her and in what I was
experiencing. I think that Robyn also asked Anne’s opinion at this point and
she agreed that getting up might help. At 3.50 pm I moved to the bathroom and
had a wee. I had a contraction on getting to the bathroom and shortly after the
wee. I leaned against the bath once I was standing up again. The contractions
were much more painful out of the water but I felt I was doing the right thing
and laboured here for a bit.
Around this time Robyn suggested that I lie on the bed and
that she perform a vaginal examination to check my dilation. I agreed although I
didn’t want to lie down as I didn’t think I would be able to manage my
contractions and the pain as well. At 4.15 pm Robyn tucked lots of towels and
birthing mats underneath me as I lay on the bed. The vaginal examination showed
that my cervix was nearly fully effaced (7-8cm) but that there was a small
anterior lip. Robyn said that she was going to ‘stay inside’ me for my next
contraction to see what was happening to my cervix. She noted that my membranes
were bulging out but that I had a small anterior lip that she could push back
during the contraction but that it wasn’t quite dilated. She also noted that
baby’s head was slightly off centre.
After the examination, baby’s heartbeat was 130. During the
examination I felt some waters gush out. Robyn then suggested rupturing my
membranes to keep things moving (or to speed them up). I didn’t like the sound
of that and mentioned that I felt some fluid gush out while she was inside me.
So I stayed on the bed for a bit. Robyn then asked whether I would like to get
back into the pool to which I replied that I would. The next contraction hit me
harder than any of the previous ones and I quickly changed my mind realising
that I couldn’t actually move. I also voiced that I thought I would like to be
on all fours but on thinking about actually achieving that position I realised
that was impossible at this stage too. So I lay semi-reclined on the bed. I
started feeling quite nauseous so Richard stood next to me pressing my wrist
bands hard at the nausea point.
My contractions were really hotting up and getting exceedingly
painful. I was starting to lose my focus and no longer knew what to do during
each contraction – I didn’t know what to aim for. My legs were thrashing
about a lot with the pain and I was shaking my head from side to side saying,
“I can ’t do it, I can’t do it, help me, I want gas!”. Richard took this
as a good sign, more so when I screamed, “I’m never doing this again!” –
he said he smiled to himself and thought, “Hmmm, transition…”. As for me I
was terrified and only just coping with the, by now, utterly and absolutely
unbearable pain that was wrenching my body in pieces and in different
directions. I had no idea where I was in the birthing process: whether I had a
few minutes or a few hours to go. In between each contraction I was completely
exhausted and would lay back on the pillows, drenched with sweat and pleading
for someone to tell me I could do this and could cope with the next one. I didn’t
feel I got the reassurance I needed though. Robyn helpfully guided me with Sonja
holding one of my legs against her hip, and Robyn the other. At around 4.40 pm
Robyn told me to push into my bottom which really helped me direct the pain.
However I could feel a poo coming out and felt very embarrassed about this so
Robyn asked Anne (at 4.50 pm) to get a hot cloth for my perineum which, when I
held it against me, felt wonderful. I could then also direct my contraction and
started pushing (and also cover up any exiting excretia which helped me retain
some dignity!).
Through the contractions at this time I was SCREAMING with the
pain. I was distantly aware of the neighbours and wondered what they might be
thinking but thought %^&* them all, I’m going to scream all I like, and
anyway I can’ t help it! At this time I was pushing hard
and in the right direction – things seemed to be making more sense for me.
When I got the second hot cloth I started feeling a bulging in to my hand. My
god I thought, it’s the head! I daren’ say
anything or think too much hoping that it really was true. I was push, push,
pushing just slowly and in grunts and Robyn nudged Richard, who was gazing at
the wall, to show him the head. Robyn helped my pushing by verbally guiding each
one. My body wasn’t pushing by itself, I was directing the pushing so it felt
like quite hard work. I wanted to stop and rest for a while but realised I
couldn’t – I was so close and thought I’ve at least got to get the whole
head out. After a good few pushes, suddenly I had to pull my hand away because
out popped the head. Thank god I thought, only a little bit left to do and it’s
over. I didn’t wait for the next contraction, I just pushed a little bit more
when whoosh, out came my baby girl who Robyn placed directly on to my tummy at
4.55 pm! I held her and sobbed. She was warm and alive and screaming! I couldn’t
open my eyes to look at her: I was crying, crying, crying and saying, “I did
it! I did it! Baby girl! Baby girl! I did it!…” Finally I was able to look
at her. She was pink and just beautiful and I had done it all by myself, with no
pain relief, at home, with wonderful support, so quickly, and with no horrible
transfers or intervention. OH THE RELIEF!!!!!!! I said, “This is our beautiful
baby girl, Amelia Rose.”.
I soon called out for Sarah and Maxwell to come down. Sonja
raced upstairs fantastically excited, Sarah said, saying, “Sarah and Maxwell,
come down, she’s had the baby!”. Maxwell came and sat right next to me and
gave baby Amelia Rose a kiss and Sarah leaned over and gave me a kiss saying,
“well done, well done!”. Soon after that I asked for Alison to come down.
She was quiet and discreet and I was pleased she could be there and share the
moment. She left soon after.
I then realised that I still had to birth the placenta and I
didn’t want any more contractions so I asked Robyn (a little anxiously I
recall) to “get it out”. She said she thought the cord had stopped pulsing
so Richard cut the cord under her guidance. She then applied downward pressure
on to my tummy while she directed me to push. I no longer knew where to push and
didn’t really want to but out came the placenta without too much effort. I was
so relieved again. I remember Sarah, Maxwell, Alison, Richard, Sonja, Anne and
Robyn all being in the room, plus our brand new baby girl, and at that point I
felt like there were too many people in one small space! Sarah brought down some
strawberries and I polished off the lot along with the next bowl she brought
down – they tasted so good.
Amelia wasn’t very settled when I tried to breastfeed her.
After some effort and lots of crying, Robyn suggested a deep warm bath for
Amelia to try and calm her. We did that in the green basin on our bed having
given her a few drops of rescue remedy as well. She did calm a little and after
she was wrapped up in a towel by Robyn she took to the breast well. How
wonderful to give birth at home in a lovely environment and not to have to move
or relocate or put up with the appalling care of some of the hospital midwives.
