It all started for me some three and a half years
ago at an antenatal class - a bunch of expectant first time
parents sitting there with a group of strangers wondering, “What
the hell am I doing here?” Midwives! Bring on the doctors, the
machinery, the drugs and the other wonders of modern science.
But there I was, dragged along by my wife’s excitement,
listening to what I thought at the time was the “hippy” section
of the medical profession, subscribing natures way and
homeopathic remedies for childbirth. These, I thought, were the
people probably not good enough to get a job at the hospitals -
HOW WRONG I WAS!
In hindsight, women have been giving birth for
quite a few years now and why I thought giving birth in a
hospital would be better I have no idea.
Now, onto the birthing part. I remember
organising the birthing pool which I wanted to collect from the
hire place four months before the due date just in case.
Apparently this is not allowed and I ended up collecting it
about three weeks before my son arrived.
We were organised; birthing pool, seven hundred
thousand square metres of heavy duty polythene (apparently, or
so I was told, there would be blood and stuff everywhere) and
some old sheets, bubbly, camembert and pate in the fridge, we
were ready to go.
The BIG day, Ange awoke on the due date and had
some crampy things (I’ve never really understood what that’s all
about, but I have sympathised with her all our married life).
Anyway, she had had these before, so no real panic at this
point, just carry on, breakfast and the other normal things
people do on the weekends.
Another hour or so, cramps a little worse and the
toilet was continually occupied (not a great day to relax and
read the weekend herald). Perhaps this was it; having not been
there before I was unable to offer any pearls of wisdom as to
whether or not labour had started, but it had …
Lunchtime came, a little more serious and time to
ring the midwife who arrived not long after with the usual spiel
that if you’re not sure you are in labour then you’re probably
not … They are not perfect - we were in labour. (You will
notice that I use “WE” as it was difficult for me to watch my
wife in pain, and as a man who wants to fix things, not be able
to do anything about it other than let nature take its course).
Midwife explained that we were only four centimetres dilated
and that as a rule of thumb one hour for 1cm, so, still six
hours to go. She left (with our permission) to go and call on a
couple of other clients and we were left to it.
Anyway, time for “ACTION MAN” – polythene spread
out to cover the entire lounge and half way up the walls (I was
planning for a war zone!) including furniture, towels and old
sheets spread out, the pool up and filling commenced. Let me
tell you, those pools are big - no trouble with the cold water
but the hot water cylinder was drained, so pots out and boiling
on the stove along with the jug and anything else that I could
find to fill up that pool.
Things starting to get more intense with Ange
unable to get comfortable, stand up, sit down, lie down, stand
up, walk around, all the while I was not quite sure what she
wanted me to do so I hovered, cold flannels, rubbing her back,
cold drinks etc, just to be there for whatever she wanted. I
thought I did a pretty good job, but you probably need to check
with her to see if I did the right things or not. Big thing
here is just do whatever they want and life will be perfect.
Phoned the midwife when Ange felt like she needed
to push and they arrived about 30-40 minutes before Lucas turned
up in the pool to the absolute delight of his father.
Guys, I consider myself to be pretty much a mans
man, but let me tell you, nothing prepares you for the sheer
overwhelming joy and love you feel when your child is born.
Also had some dust in my eyes which made my eyes water (my wife
will try and tell you that I cried but that simply is not true).
What I can honestly say is that for me, having my
son at home has been the best decision we ever made, despite my
initial concerns. To be able to spend that time with my wife,
pretty much on our own, was just such a tremendous privilege; no
doctors, no smell of disinfectant, no machines beeping, just the
comfortable feeling you have when you sit at the place you live
in. You know where everything is and visiting hours never end.
There was no rush to cut the cord, no rush to do anything and
best of all I got to be the first person to dress my son and
pass him onto the most amazing woman I know - my wife.
I will always make time to talk about what for me
so far in my life, has been one of the greatest days ever …
