A Blessed and Sacred Birth
On Sunday
evening just after 6pm on the 4th September 2005 as I
sat outside with Daniel and our friend Steve who was
staying the weekend, I felt a “show” and knew that baby
would soon be on its way. It came as a surprise, even
though I had known it could be any time, (it was only a
few days before the due date) and I felt a funny sense
of nervousness. I wanted to be alone with Daniel to
share the news so I waited until we went to bed and I
whispered to him that labour was likely to begin
anytime. He hardly seemed phased and suggested I get
some sleep.
I hardly slept. Around 10:30pm I started to feel what I
thought were contractions and I soon woke Daniel. I
started getting very excited and we got up to prepare a
few last minute things. We also woke Steve who helped
with a few things. Daniel had a broken leg, which was
still in a cast, so Steve’s presence and help was much
appreciated.
Around 2am our midwife Anneke arrived. She found I was
3cms dilated and knowing it still could be some time,
Steve set up a mattress so she could sleep in another
room rather than go home to sleep. I found it reassuring
that she was in the house for when we needed her, but
that she didn’t need to be with us the whole time.
I rested on the bed between contractions and got up on
my knees and leant on Daniel or went on all fours during
contractions. At first I didn’t want to invite any of
the people we’d planned to be with us for the labour and
birth, I felt happier alone with Daniel. However during
a heavier contraction, I suddenly had the desire to have
some toning (people singing single tones to help the
process). Daniel tried calling Sonya and Katrina many
times but couldn’t get through to them until around 8am
the next morning. He also called my mother who came
around a short time later, while I was in the bath
(which I felt the need for as contractions intensified a
bit more). As I sat in the bath, feeling soothed by the
water, Daniel and my mother toned through each
contraction, adding a peaceful touch.
After an hour and a half I’d had enough in the bath and
continued labouring on the bed. The atmosphere was very
beautiful as the room was decorated with large bunches
of flowers and lit with several candles and a soft lamp.
Added to this was the gentle sound of the toning. When
Sonya and Katrina arrived, the space was even more
beautiful as their voices and Katrina’s lyre playing
joined the chorus. I experienced some very blissful
moments as I rested on my bed and the lyre playing
continued. Everyone was focused on the process of
birthing baby and there was no distractive chatter.
Daniel was a tremendous support. He was with me at every
moment, hopping on his good leg with me on every trip to
the toilet (where I always had a contraction) and back
to the bedroom. I was able to move and flow freely as I
pictured the energy flowing and opening up my body for
the birth.
Just before 9am I felt the desire to get up and I
squatted on the floor at the end of the bed. Daniel
supported me on one side and my mother on the other
side. Anneke coached me as I began pushing. The waters
broke during a push and poured with a gush onto the
floor. I found it really hard to push and was never
really sure when I was meant to. I felt the dichotomy of
wanting to get the baby out but not wanting to push
because it increased the pain as the baby stretched my
tissues. I made a lot of fuss and even reverted to
sucking my thumb and fingers a few times – quite
comforting I found, no wonder babies do it!! With much
encouragement from those around me (there were now nine
people as Steve had joined the circle as well as the
back up midwife and a student midwife), I grunted and
pushed with all my strength. When the baby’s head
crowned, I reached my hand down and touched it. It felt
so soft and squashy I pulled my hand away so I wouldn’t
damage it!! After a few more long, hard pushes the head
was out. There was a little bit of action below which I
later found out, was Anneke moving the cord from around
baby’s neck. Daniel had moved into position to catch
baby, while Sonya supported me. Another push and the
rest of baby’s body was out. What a relief for me!! It
was 9:43am. The baby screamed and was handed to me. At
first the baby felt so slimy and floppy to me, it hardly
seemed human. I put the baby on my breast. She kept
screaming, which was not what I’d expected. I was amazed
that this little being who had grown inside me was
finally out. I felt tears of joy and relief as Daniel
and I looked at our little girl. Her name came to me the
moment we saw she was a girl. “Hello Susan” I said (we’d
purposely not thought of names before the birth).
I remembered the placenta was still to come and I handed
Suzie to Daniel. “Oh no, I have to push again” I said as
I braced myself with the support of two people once
again. Prepared for another hard slog, I pushed so hard
it slithered out immediately!!
I went to the bed and Anneke found I had a two
centimetre tear, which I opted not to have stitched.
Daniel and Susan joined me in bed and she kept screaming
as I put her to the breast. It was a bit disheartening
having a screaming baby, but when she stopped it was
wonderful to see and feel her in bed with us.
We left the cord attached to her and put the placenta
beside her on some sticks in a bowl to drain. It took 8
½ days until the cord finally popped off. We’d sprinkled
it regularly with rosemary to keep it well so it didn’t
get too smelly. It was special to allow the placenta to
come away in its own time and give healthful benefits to
Suzie. Suzie stayed on the bed most of the firsts eight
days, and it gave Daniel and I lots of time to enjoy
her, without visitors picking her up.
What wonderful experience it was to have Susan’s birth
at home in the sacred atmosphere we created and a
blessing for Susan to began life on earth.
George's Birth Story
Our baby was
conceived in a yurt. The pregnancy went well aside from
the tiredness of early pregnancy and a little morning
sickness. We lived in our yurt for most of the pregnancy
but moved into a house two months before baby was due.
It was the end of November and we'd been for a trip to
the beach on Saturday. All through Saturday night I was
up and down to the toilet. Already before I went to bed,
I had noticed I had a lot of runny mucous. I wondered if
this was a sign that labour was almost there. “I'll call
Molly (my midwife) tomorrow and ask her” I thought.
There was no need however as at 5am there was blood in
the mucous. “The show” I thought. I had already felt a
few tightenings but wasn't sure if they were the real
thing.
Now I was sure labour had begun. Quickly the tightenings
became more intense. I could not lie in bed through
them, I had to go to the toilet. About an hour later
Daniel stirred and I told him labour had begun. “You can
stay in bed with Susie (3 years)” I said.
5 or 10 minutes later Daniel was up. He set to tidying
the kitchen and making space for the pool. He brought
the pool in which was already pumped up and wet from the
dew. I tried to help with the dishes and sweeping
however with tightenings coming every few minutes, I
couldn't do much. I started calling Daniel to support me
through each one. I leaned into him and made low toning
sounds.
When Susie woke up alone in our bed, she came out to see
the pool being filled. She held the hose. There were
pots of water on the stove heating up.
At 6:55am I called Molly to tell her I was in labour.
She listened through one contraction and said she
thought the birth was only a few hours away. I was
relieved to hear that. I had thought it would go fast,
especially as the tightenings were so strong from the
beginning. However I had not wanted to get my hopes up
in case it could go on all day. Molly asked if I wanted
her to come yet and I said I wasn't sure. She said she'd
have breakfast then call back. She also suggested I call
my friend Insa to collect Susie.
Tightenings continued and got a little stronger. When
Insa arrived I was very pleased. It was probably around
7:20 or so. She gave me a hug. I felt pretty weary at
that point. I can't quite describe the feeling except
for “blah”. Another contraction came on and following
that one I asked Insa if she and Susie could feed the
chickens. As they headed out I had another strong
contraction. I was in the hallway and called out to
Daniel to come – as I did for most contractions. This
one was different though. I could feel the head bulging.
“It's coming, the baby is coming” I said. “Where's
Molly?” I asked. Daniel called Molly after that one.
I went to the pool which was only one third full. I
stepped in but it was too hot so I stood through the
next pushing contraction. Daniel added more cold water
and then I dared to sit down in it. I didn't experience
any pain relief, but then I was already in the final
stages.
Susie and Insa came in while I was in the midst of the
next pushing contraction. I didn't want Susie around
seeing me like this anymore so I waved them out. A few
seconds later the contraction was over and I realised
that it was not nice for Susie that I hadn't said
goodbye, so Daniel called them back in. Susie came to
the pool and gave me a kiss, then off they went, Susie
on the back of Insa's bike.
Daniel was in the pool with me and as the next
contraction came I said “Oh no, I'm going to do a poo”
Then I said “No I'm not, its the baby's head” as the
head popped out. I was very surprised and relieved all
at once. I hadn't consciously pushed, my body had done
it anyway. I had felt the head bulging but was scared of
the pain, remembering my last birth. Well the head was
out now and I was so pleased. As we waited for the next
contraction I had a little concern for the baby with its
head out and under water. I knew it was probably fine
but I still asked Daniel if it was okay. It seemed like
a long time but finally another contraction came. This
time I consciously gave a big push and the body slid out
into Daniels hands.
The baby was out!! Daniel laid him on my lower belly
with only his head out of the water. I held him there
for several minutes in awe and feeling so happy. We
bathed in the beauty of this special time. Molly arrived
as we were admiring our wee treasure. She calmly took
her place beside the pool. Soon she suggested we lift
him up so he could find the breast and feed. She brought
a towel and I picked the baby up. It was at this point
we saw the baby was a boy. “Its a boy” I said.
I placed him above my breasts and supported him as he
gradually worked his way down to find a nipple. I gave
him a little bit of guidance but mainly let him move
himself. He did find the nipple and latch on at 8:30am.
He was born at 7:47am.
While our boy was looking for the nipple, Daniel said
one of his names was “Prophecy. This had come from a
dream a few days before in which he was with a boy
called “Prophecy” who he watched grow up. When Daniel
said the name, my first thought was “not as a first
name”. My head started racing with names “George, Peter”
then I stopped and let it go, trusting the right name
would come. The name George kept coming back to me so
finally I said “I think his name is George” Daniel then
told us that after the dream, the name George had also
come to him.
The contractions to get the placenta out were getting
more painful. Molly said that it had probably detached
and it might help if I squatted or stood. I tried first
squatting then standing. Still no placenta so we went to
the toilet and with a little pull and push from me, out
it came into a colander. By this time it was 9am. We
left the cord attached to George – a lotus birth – and
allowed it to come off in its own time. After four days
Daniel cut it off as his belly button was poking out and
the dry cord was rubbing and irritating it. The stump
fell off the following night.
After birthing the placenta we went to the lounge and
George and I settled down on the couch where he fed
again and fell asleep. Daniel made some toast and Molly
made me a lemon and honey drink.
The rest of the day was very relaxed as we lay on a
mattress in the lounge enjoying our wee boy. Susan came
home with Insa and Sharda (her daughter) about 2o'clock
in the afternoon. Susie had a huge smile when she saw
“the baby”. She just looked for a while in amazement.
George Prophecy weighed 8lb 4oz, a big baby after my
first (6lb 9oz). A quick home birth and a beautiful
baby. This was a wonderful start for his life and a joy
for us.
Our Yurt Baby
This story
begins at the circus. Late in May in a circus house
truck our baby was conceived. Daniel is a circus
performer and we were in Hamilton for the last stand of
the season. After the circus season was over we had a
few weeks deciding what to do next before we headed to
Tauranga in the circus house truck. It was while we were
parked up in the country on someone's land with only a
rickety toilet and no bathroom that we realised that our
third baby was on the way. At the same time Daniel was
drawing up the plans for our new home – a yurt, which is
a Mongolian round house with a wood framework, wool
insulation and canvas skin. We had lived in a yurt in
Christchurch and had found it the warmest and most
beautiful space to live in Within a few days of being
there I began to feel very nauseous. I called a
homebirth midwife but was too sick to go and see her so
she came to our house truck. I felt immediately happy
with Vicki so did not feel the need to meet any other
midwives. The nausea was the worst I'd experienced, I
was virtually bedridden. I was very grateful Daniel was
around to look after the children and I, while also
working on our yurt home. We moved to another piece of
land just around the corner where we had a bathroom,
laundry and kitchen and a big shed for Daniel to build
the yurt in. During this time when I spent most of my
time in bed, I picked up my guitar and played a lot. It
lifted my spirits and I wrote a song for baby.
Little star in the sky, come down to earth
We will love you and cuddle you and share your joy.
You will love life on earth, with so much to learn
Wondrous sights and sounds, taste, touch and smells.
You will lead a grand life, down here on earth
Attracting the best, light love, and joy.
By the end of the first trimester my nausea was gone and
I could enjoy the pregnancy.
Just before Christmas we found out we needed to leave
the place where we were living. We looked at where to
go. We considered moving away from Tauranga to
Coromandel or Rotorua before settling on New Plymouth
where we could live at Daniel's mother's (Raewyn) house
and put the yurt (which by then was complete) up on a
terrace above her house. I was happy we would be able to
have our yurt to birth in, as I had dreamed of this all
pregnancy, however I was very sad to leave my midwife
behind. I tried to hold the picture in my mind that I
would find a midwife who could live up to Vicki. When we
arrived in Taranaki (3½ weeks before baby's due date) I
rang around nearly all the midwives in New Plymouth and
some from further away. Most were full and the few that
weren't just didn't feel right for me. I felt so tempted
to run away back to Tauranga (a friend had offered we
could stay at her house) where I would have Vicki. I
considered an unassisted birth, but in my last round of
calls I finally found Sharon who was based in Stratford.
From when I first talked to her, I knew she was the
right person for me. So with baby's due date less than
two weeks away I finally felt settled and ready to give
birth (still had to wait for the yurt to go up though) I
no longer felt tempted to go back to Tauranga.
Wednesday (due date was the following Tuesday) the yurt
was up and Thursday the furniture was in, Saturday I
unpacked and finished washing baby clothes (I'd been
waiting to sort the baby clothes all pregnancy till we
got the yurt up as they were packed in various boxes!).
On Saturday afternoon we went to the beach. While there,
I remembered that on the Saturday before George's birth
we had also been to the beach and he was born the next
day. Both my previous baby's had been born two days
before their due dates so I had for a while been
expecting the same this time – which would be Sunday. So
at the beach I suddenly felt the resemblance and felt
that “tomorrow will be the day”. When we got home from
the beach, I got all the last bits and pieces ready for
the birth and started some bread rising. I went to bed
waiting or something to happen.
In the early hours of the next morning I woke and felt a
light contraction. They came every now and then for a
while. Finally at 6:30am I got up to go down to the
house. Before I got out of the yurt, I heard a trip,
trip of little feet and Susie (5 ½) came to see me. More
trip, trips followed and George (2 ¼)was up too. So
Daniel got up and we all headed to the house. When I
went to the toilet I saw that I did have a little bit of
a show so that confirmed for me that this was indeed the
real thing. George's birth had been very quick and my
midwife had missed the birth, so I expected it to be
quick again. I called Sharon (who lives 45 mins away)
and told her labour had started but was slow, she said
she would have breakfast and get ready before calling me
back. Soon after Daniel called his sister Nicki who was
coming to look after Susie and George. She arrived with
her three children and we had a bustling household!!
Contractions were light and spread apart. I had a few
things I wanted to do like finish baking bread and a few
other bits and pieces, which is probably why labour was
slow. About 10am Nicki and Raewyn took all the children
to the market (with the list I had written out the night
before in case I couldn't go!)
Ah peace. Daniel and I headed to the yurt and could get
on with labour alone. It was hot in the yurt so we
stripped off. We started loving, kissing, massaging and
cuddling. It was an exciting and special time. It also
brought on the contractions faster. Now I felt like it
could go very fast. Soon I thought I better call Sharon
and ask her to come. Soon after that I became
distracted, I had heard a message from my sister's au
pair that morning (she'd left it the night before) and
it seemed odd – I wondered if something was up, but as
they were a few hours behind I hadn't called back yet.
Now I felt I needed to try to find her number and call
but I only got an answer phone. Later I got a text
saying the au pair was looking for accommodation in
Christchurch and wondered if I could help! We went back
to the yurt and then Sharon arrived. Contractions had
slowed down again. Sharon listened to baby's heart rate
with the fetoscope, a bit of a challenge on a slippery
oily, belly!! All was well so we all went to the house
and enjoyed fresh bread for lunch. By now the others
were all back. With light contractions only every 15
mins or so, Sharon left, but was going to stay close by
for when we needed her. Daniel lay down with George for
his nap and I did some digging in the garden to help
things along. That did bring on more contractions but it
was also hot work in the sun so I went in for a cold
wash and then a rest. I wasn't really into resting –
just wanted to get on with it. When George woke up we
took him down to the house with the others.
Daniel and I came back to our yurt haven alone around
3:30pm. Contractions were increasing in frequency and
strength now. Daniel massaged me and I used all sorts of
positions including hanging off Daniel's circus straps
which hung from the centre of the yurt, leaning over the
bed, hanging off Daniel, arms up, rocking, moving... I
enjoyed the freedom of adopting any position. Around 4pm
Sharon called to see how things were going. Daniel said
he thought contractions were 10 – 12 mins apart, so
Sharon said she would meet her daughter for a drink at
the airport as it sounded like I still had a while to
go. When he checked the watch it was 8 mins since the
last one. An hour later I asked Daniel how long ago was
it since Sharon called. I thought good – at least she
has had some time with her daughter and might come soon.
Very soon I asked Daniel to tell Sharon to come as the
contractions were feeling intense. He texted “No rush
but contractions 3 – 6 mins apart” (I read that only
later and had to laugh because to me it was urgent by
then). She replied that she'd be there in 10 – 15 mins.
Yeah!! I had thoughts at this time that I didn't want
labout to go too fast as I really wanted Sharon to be
there. Soon I got on my hands and knees beside the bed
and in a very strong contraction there was a pop and out
gushed my waters. That was very exciting for me – I'd
never experienced it like that before. When Sharon
walked in the door a minute later I was all bubbly and
excitedly told her of my waters breaking. A couple of
minutes later I was on my hands and knees pushing.
Daniel was behind me and Sharon was on hands and knees
in front. I nuzzled into her and told her several times
how glad I was she was here as I pushed and screamed
mighty loud until the head popped out. I felt with my
hand as it was coming. I was relieved the intense pain
of the head coming out was short lived. I waited a few
minutes for the next contraction then began another
mighty push, again screaming very loud (which I hadn't
done with my other births). I thought of the poor baby's
ears, but Sharon reassured me it would be ok. When baby
slithered out Sharon said to Daniel who had caught baby
to “pass him through Hannah's legs”. I was relieved he
was out and ecstatic as I held our wee grey-blue baby.
As I held him to my chest Sharon put a towel over him
and gave him a little rub to encourage him to breathe. A
few names flashed through my head and Peter kept
recurring so I said his name was Peter (we had purposely
given no thought to names before birth and trusted the
name would come). Peter kept his eyes closed as I
cuddled and enjoyed these precious first minutes with
him. Soon Sharon asked if we had seen if baby was a boy
or girl – neither of us had nor had she, we'd all just
assumed that!! We had a look and sure enough, baby was
still our boy Peter!!
I sat on the bed with Peter and let him find his way to
the breast. He suckled well. By now Andrea the second
midwife was here too (Sharon had only been able to call
after Peter was born!!) About 1 ¾ hrs after the birth,
while holding Peter, I got up onto the makeshift toilet
(a birth stool with a bucket under it) to birth the
placenta. One push and it was out. Daniel then put it
into a bowl with sticks so it could drain and laid it
beside Peter and I on the bed. No need to cut the cord,
we would wait till it came off at Peter's belly button.
(This is called a Lotus birth). Peter lived on our bed
with his placenta in a bowl beside him for nearly 5 days
when he kicked it off. This gave him a peaceful entry
into the world with only Daniel and I holding him till
day 6. Daniel salted the placenta the next day and again
the following. The salt helped it dry out and prevented
it from rotting.
About 2 hours after the birth Daniel went to the house
to get some food for us and invite everyone up. Into the
yurt came three of Peter's cousins, his sister, brother,
aunty and grandmother, followed soon after by his
grandfather and step-grandmother. George came straight
up and gave Peter a very gentle stroke on the head,
Susie stood looking and smiling from a distance. It was
a beautiful time lying and cuddling Peter while he fed
and slept and everyone admired him. Before dark everyone
left and we settled in for our first night together.
So our 8lb 3oz baby was born at 5:47pm on Sunday 20th
Feb in our beautiful yurt that grew as he did. It is now
3 weeks since his birth and he has not left the yurt. It
is a lovely space for him to arrive into and be, as he
slowly accustoms himself to life on earth. I have
changed the first line of baby's song and sing it to him
often.
Little Peter my boy, welcome to earth
We will love you and cuddle you and share your joy.
You will love life on earth, with so much to learn
Wondrous sights and sounds, taste, touch and smells.
You will lead a grand life, down here on earth
Attracting the best, light love, and joy.
