In March a positive pregnancy test
confirmed that we were expecting. I was really nervous
throughout the first 3 months because I had had a
miscarriage at arund 8 weeks just 2 months earlier. We
found out the sex early at our 15 week scan and were
told we were having a boy, which Clyde was especially
happy about. I had a really good pregnancy, I had some
nausea and tiredness in the first 3 months, the second
and third trimester were fine apart from constantly
rushing to the toilet and heartburn. I continued to work
at my two part time jobs as a homecare worker and
pharmacy technician. I worked until four days before I
had Kahu. I had read a lot about pregnancy and birth
throughout my pregnancy and had decided that a homebirth
in water would be a really amazing way to bring our baby
into the world. My midwives were very pro homebirth so
it was always understood we would have baby at home as
long as everything went well.
At my 38 week check I had high blood
pressure which was unusual for me, two days later at 39
weeks on a Saturday night I went to the toilet and
realized I had had a “show”. I was really shocked, I had
told everyone I would have my baby early and not be
overdue as what was expected of first time mothers,
since my own mum had all of us 2 weeks early. After
showing Clyde I called my mum who told me to just wait,
things will take awhile. I managed to get to sleep but
couldn’t believe it was all finally happening. The next
day I spent the day with Clyde and was getting period
like cramps on and off most of the day. I thought I
would go into real labour anytime. We went up to mum and
dads for dinner and my two best friends Tui and Juanessa
came for tea too and we went for a long walk together to
try and bring on my labour. I had decided I wanted Tui
and Juanessa as well as Clyde and the midwives there to
support me during labour. After all that excitement, the
contractions died away and I managed to get to sleep
Sunday night. I woke up a few times with really sore
stomach pains which faded away.
On Monday morning I was sure that
today would be the day. I had decided I wanted to cook
to pass the time so I baked cookies, a cake and made a
huge lasagne for my support team. Juanessa and Tui
arrived around noon and I was getting cramps every 5 or
6 minutes by this time. We went for a really long slow
walk and I had to stop every 3 minutes and wait for the
contractions to pass. When we got back Clyde put on the
movie Boy for us to watch and it helped pass the time as
the contractions got stronger. Mum came round a few
times during this time; she was so excited to meet her
grandson. The midwife knew I was in labour but she was
trying to hold off coming to see me until I really
needed her, and I knew this was in my best interest. I
didn’t want to be disappointed and find out I was only 1
cm along when she came. By 7 o clock the contractions
were really painful and I had convinced myself I was in
transition. Juanessa kept convincing me to wait to call
the midwife for a bit longer; she got there around 8
o'clock and did an internal which did not hurt at all.
Betty was really happy with my progress and said the
longest part of labour was over and I was over 3 cm. She
also said my cervix was really spongy and my hips were
really wide so there was lots of space for baby. She was
so positive that it made me feel better, even though I
thought it would nearly be over! She left and said the
other midwife Milenna would be around later on once she
had finished with someone else and to call her if I
needed to. I went and had a bath and that really helped
when the contractions got really sore. I didn’t make a
lot of noise but breathed my way through the
contractions. The pain was really intense and the
contractions felt like a horrible pain in my back and
across my lower stomach and thighs. I was starting to
get a bit crazy around midnight, pacing the house and
crouching and leaning and hanging of the furniture. I
couldn’t get comfortable at all, and the contractions
were so painful.
Milenna finally arrived around 12.30
and as soon as she arrived I asked her for an internal.
I was relieved to find out I was 8 – 9 cm dilated, and
baby would hopefully be here soon. As soon as she got
there she took charge of the situation she had me
standing up holding on to kahu’s cot and moving my hips
in slow figure 8 motion which really helped, and she
taught me how to breath through them properly. It was so
good having someone to coach you through the contraction
as it became unbearable she would say “it’s nearly,
over. You’re doing so well.” The coaching helped me so
much. Juanessa and Tui sacould hop into the pool which
was amazing. I took of my nightdress and all worries of
being naked in front of my friends were gone. I could
care less. Milenna got Clyde to sit behind me and
support me and I leant against the wall of the pool. The
contractions were really strong and I pushed as hard as
I ct in the room and watched silently and I wanted Clyde
who was not in the room to come in and be apart of what
was happening. Milenna got Clyde to come and hold my
hand as he lay on the bed and I knelt in front of it for
about an hour and Milenna massaged my back, which felt
really, really good.
The contractions felt really horribly
painful and intense and I found myself concentrating
really hard to get through them. Milenna told me to rest
on the bed and propped me up with pillows and Clyde lay
beside me. I tried my hardest but I couldn’t handle the
contractions laying down it was much too painful.
Milenna got me to walk around while they filled up the
birthing pool. The water hot water ran out and they had
to boil pots on the stove. Milenna made me brace myself
on the couch and continue the figure eight with my hips
and breathe through the contractions but they were
getting so painful I would sob a bit and they would take
my breath away but I would get my breathing rhythm back.
I remember thinking it was just so painful and it was so
intense. I really wanted to hop into the water so badly
and I remember feeling a bit of hatred towards Milenna
for not letting me get in. I told her I felt like I
really wanted to go for a pee, which I had been feeling
for awhile but every time I went to the toilet nothing
would come out. She told me to go and labour on the
toilet for awhile with Juanessa. My vagina felt really
weird like something was coming down and Milenna told me
to see if I could feel anything and I was shocked when I
could feel a rubbery ball like skin. She told me it
would be my waters which were still intact. She told me
to see if I could feel anything hard behind it, and I
could only a little way up and it was his head. We all
went into the room and she checked me again and said I
was fully dilated and babies head had come down.
Straight after I stood up I ran as good as I could to
the toilet and had the urge to push which was really
different from the contractions. I made grunting noises
which came so naturally and I knew that this was what
pushing was. Milenna told me I could hop into the pool
which was warm and deep enough and I was so happy to
climb in. I had laboured in the bath twice earlier and
the water was such a good pain relief.
Pushing was so much better than the
contractions before, because I could do something to
stop the pain! I was sitting with my back against the
pool side with Clyde supporting me from behind and I
could see the waters coming out of my vagina and
slipping back in through each contraction. Seeing that
really motivated me to push extra hard. I remember how I
would begin to push and then my body would take over. It
went on for about an hour but it didn’t seem that long
to me at all. Soon Milenna was saying baby will be here
in the next contraction or two and I couldn’t believe
it. I pushed really, really hard and I felt him crown.
It was not nearly as bad as what I thought it would be
and I knew I hadn’t torn when his head finally popped
out. My contraction was still going and Milenna said I
could push his body out if I could and I did. It was
relief when he was out and I said “My baby!” and he was
put onto my chest. He was covered in white goo and had
bright red lips and purple skin. He cried for a few
seconds then just looked at me. Juanessa told me later
that at that moment her, Tui and Clyde all tried really
hard to hold back tears. I felt really overwhelmed and
slightly in shock. I couldn’t believe I had done it. The
pool must have filled with blood and I had to get out
but they didn’t want to cut the cord yet so I had to
stand up while Clyde held Kahu and I pushed out the
placenta with the first contraction I felt, it didn’t
hurt. I looked down and blood was running down my
thighs, and I felt a bit worried something was wrong. By
this time Betty had arrived and I had to lie down on
towels and they pushed my stomach and massaged it to get
the rest of the blood out and then I had to injections
to stop the bleeding. I am really afraid of needles and
they didn’t hurt at all. I felt quite light headed and
remember being really jealous I couldn’t hold the baby.
My mum arrived sometime during my bleeding and everyone
was just pouring over Kahu.
After maybe 20 minutes I was able to
sit on the couch and try to breast feed him. I felt
really, really tired. He latched on well after a few
attempts and after a shower and a pee which didn’t hurt
at all I was wrapped up in bed with a new baby and Clyde
at 6am. Looking back on my birth experience I feel
really lucky to have had such a problem free birth and
was able to do it my way. I am so glad I had a healthy
baby which is really all you can ask for. I felt really
strong and proud of myself for doing it the way nature
intended without pain relief and amazed my body pulled
it off! It was such an amazing and beautiful thing
giving birth to my son, but at the time I was totally
absorbed by the pain of each contraction.
Kahu is now 5 weeks old and weighs
over 12 pound. The midwives are amazed at his huge
weight gain and he is a really big boy. He is really
active and loves doing his exercises, and sometimes
blesses us with a smile! We love him so much and look
forward to the rest of our lives spent with our special
little man.
