Jessica’s Birth
My memory of Jessica’s birth is a little faded after so many years,
so please excuse it being a little ‘basic’.
I had an awful time when I had been giving birth to Sean that
dragged on for nearly three days, so decided that perhaps a
homebirth would be a better second-time-around.
On Friday 25th March we picked up the video camera to film the birth
and I said to my husband Stephen that we had better get it out and
make sure we knew how to use it etc just in case I went into labour
that night. We went to bed and I was convinced that if we made love
I would go into labour. Afterwards I lay there with my bum on
pillows trying to keep everything in there! I had a few
contractions straight away and thought that I had better get some
sleep just in case something was happening. I went straight to
sleep but woke at 1.20am with a contraction, it was strong enough to
get me out of bed and walk around. They were coming every 6-7
minutes and lasting about 45 seconds.
I waited an hour and rang Fiona (midwife). She told me to go and
have a bath and see if the contractions stopped. First I rang my
mum and dad to let them know that I thought I was in labour (mum was
5 hours away) then off I went and shortly after getting in the bath
the contractions intensified. I stayed there for a while but they
were getting so strong that I thought I better get out because I was
afraid she was going to be born in there! I had to wake Stephen to
help me out, he was very unimpressed! He had just worked 12 days
straight and really wanted to sleep, so getting woken at 3am wasn’t
his idea of fun! I rang Fiona back and asked her to come soon. I
also rang my mum and dad as they had been sitting there having a cup
of tea (my mum was eagerly anticipating her birth and had her bag
packed and ready to go before me) waiting for me to ring back.
Fiona arrived at 4.30am and the VE showed I was about 6cm dilated.
I was pretty happy with that as I was coping really well with the
contractions. Fiona suggested I watch the video of Sean when he was
little to see if that would get things moving, so we sat there
watching him for a while. The contractions continued and after
another hour I started rocking with them while I was leaning on
Stephen. By this stage I couldn’t talk through them, which pleased
Fiona as she knew told me that meant the birth was a lot closer.
At 7.30am she did another VE and I was 8cm. She offered me an ARM
to get the job done, which she did at 7.45am. What a lovely feeling
it is to have that warm water running out of you! By 8.45am I was
on the floor leaning over pillows on the couch and rocking with each
contraction, they were strong and I was getting a little fretful and
getting a bit noisy but I don’t remember ever feeling out of control
with them. At 9.10am I started pushing, the contractions got very
strong at this point and I can distinctly remember yelling “I can’t
do it, please don’t make me do it!’ Fiona told me to hold the noise
in and use that for pushing, which I did and at 9.28am she arrived.
She was passed to me through my legs and wow what a feeling that was
to finally see her!
I was suddenly very uncomfortable and insisted on turning around,
but what an effort this was! (Watching Jessica’s birth on video
still makes me laugh at how I looked attempting to do this!).
Jessica’s cord was very short and I could feel it pulling.
Eventually I got myself settled and sat holding her while I tried to
deliver the placenta, with Fiona pulling and me pushing like mad it
eventually came out about 30 minutes after she was born. I was
upset that mum hadn’t arrived yet but finally just after the
placenta came out she arrived at the door to see her beautiful
granddaughter, she came straight over to me, where I was still
sitting on the floor having a nice hot milo and gave me a kiss and
told me she was perfect. My mum died just over two years later and
this is one of the memories that so often comes to mind when I think
of her and that look of pure joy she had on her face.
Aria's Birth
Sean had arrived 10 days late but with Jess coming 5 days early I
was certain that Aria would arrive before her due date as well,
especially as her head was fully engaged at 35 weeks but alas, she
had other ideas, so when I was 40 weeks and 6 days, I had an
appointment to see Lyn (mw), and she duly ‘swept’ me. Then away we
went to wait for labour to begin. I was absolutely certain that it
would work. So when I had a show the next day on Saturday I was
pretty confident. But Saturday went, Sunday came, Sunday went and
Monday came and nearly went before it began. I felt a little
strange that afternoon, and had gone to bed to try and have a sleep
when Sean and Jess were home from school, but couldn’t as I was
having a few contractions that I told myself were Braxton hicks,
even though they felt different. I had joked for weeks that I
wondered if I would recognise labour when it began because I had
been having so many braxton hicks. We had dinner and Sean and I
went to the supermarket and I had a few stronger contractions while
we were there, but that was nothing new. I told my friend Aimee as
we left that if I was not in to do my shopping the next day that it
would be because I had had her. I never really thought that that
would actually be the case, but at the same time I knew it was about
to happen. Strange thoughts!
We got home from the supermarket and as the kids were going to bed
I had my first proper contraction. Jessica asked me if I was going
into labour but I snapped at her and told her of course not and to
get to bed! For the next few hours I timed them and they were
coming about every six or seven minutes, by the time I was watching
Nip Tuck I was having to get up as it was too painful to assume my
normal horizontal position on the couch. By now I was sure that
this was it and began to get excited. But at the same time I was
very very scared and was trying really hard to keep calm. Drew and
I made sure that Aria’s room was all ready for her arrival and
tidied up the lounge.
I ran Lyn at 12.45am and told her that I thought I was in labour but
when she arrived at 1.10am she wasn’t convinced, she didn’t think
my contractions were anywhere near strong enough, and upon checking
me out I wasn’t yet fully effaced and only 3cm dilated, I was hugely
peeved and wanted to cry, even though my contractions weren’t that
strong I had been having them for hours (since about 3pm I realised
afterwards). She did another s & s to see if that would get things
moving. She then went home and told us to ring her when the
contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and lasting a minute (long and
strong as she put it). She said that it might be hours before that
happened, if at all, and that she thought she would probably be
seeing me for another sweep at my appointment later that morning.
My thoughts at the time were ‘You have GOT to be kidding. Stupid
woman, what would you know, I WILL be ringing you back soon!’ She
left just before 2am and at 2.30 I went to have a bath to see if
that helped as when I was in early labour with Jessica that really
helped my contractions to strengthen.
Almost straight away the contractions got stronger, it seemed to me
that it happened really fast, I can’t even completely remember. I
do remember asking Drew every time a contraction began how long
since the last one and then demanding to know how long each was
lasting. He told me afterwards that he just told me what I wanted
to hear, but he didn’t have much of an idea as each time he would
forget when the last one had finished! A couple of times he asked
me if he should ring Lyn, but I told him to wait as I didn’t want to
get her out of bed again until I had to, he was doing an amazing job
of keeping me going, I don’t think he realised that just being there
and encouraging me through each contraction helped. I lost all
concept of time and in what seemed a very short time the
contractions seemed to be coming so intensely that it was just one
big contraction that peaked. I didn’t feel as if I was coping very
well at all, the contractions were far more intense than I had
experienced with either Sean or Jessica and I was beginning to not
be able to breathe through them. Jessica had woken up with all the
commotion of Drew running backwards and forwards from the kitchen
with jugs of boiling water because I needed the bath really hot, so
then she was running as well, I hated her seeing me in pain and
asked her to go back to bed, it had been planned that she would be
there for my labour and birth but I had warned her that I thought I
wouldn’t want her there because I usually like to be alone when I am
in pain.
Just after 4am Drew rang Lyn back and she arrived again at 4.25am.
I was still in the bath and at 4.40am I had a huge contraction and
felt something pop, I honestly thought that Aria’s head had
exploded! As stupid as that sounds now, it was what I thought had
happened! I had had my waters broken with both Sean and Jessica, so
I had no idea what it felt like to have them break spontaneously.
Lyn assured me that all was well and that it was just my waters
breaking. All I was thinking that now, my contractions were going
to intensify even more and I wasn’t sure that I could cope with
that.
Lyn suggested I get out of the bath while I still could! She would
have let me deliver here there but there wasn’t enough room, so I
got out of the bath and got on my knees, leaning over pillows on the
couch, rocking and swaying with each contraction. At 4.50am Lyn did
a VE and informed me I was now 7cm dilated. Another HUGE
disappointment, I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t fully dilated yet.
I was having a contraction every 2-3 minutes. By 5.20am I was
having 4 every 10 minutes and they were so intense I wondered how I
was going to get through one more contraction, let alone many more!
I remember sobbing when each one started because I really didn’t
think I could do it anymore and I felt like I was screaming with
every single one.
Sensing that I was in transition, at 5.55am Lyn did another VE and
told me I was fully dilated but the urge to push wasn’t there, I
felt totally out of control and the pain was almost unbearable. It
is the most awful feeling to know that you have to do it yourself
and that there is nothing that is going to help. I heard myself
saying that I couldn’t do it anymore and begging Drew to make the
pain stop, I was crying but no tears would come out. At 6am I got
up to wee and then got into a supported squatting position with Drew
behind me. At 6.05 am the back-up mw Robyn arrived, she simply came
inside, sat beside me and held my hand. I was worried about not
wanting to push and at 6.20 Lyn told me to have a push and see how
it felt, which I did but it hurt so much that I stopped! I really,
really didn’t think that I could do it, but I kept telling myself
that I had to, and I knew that the harder and stronger I pushed the
sooner this would all be over. Just a few pushes later at 6.25am
she was born. The entire time I was pushing I was asking Lyn if she
could see her head, and when she could I was asking her if she was
coming out. Even as her head was coming out I was still trying to
get my head around that fact that I was having a baby, I still
couldn’t believe it.
Lyn giving her to me was THE most amazing, exhilarating feeling that
I have ever had. All at once it sunk in that it was real, she was
really here!
As soon as she was born, Jessica came in. She said she had been
waiting at the door and guessed when she had been born. Drew went
and got Sean. He thought that “she was ugly, but oh, she’s here”.
(Now he thinks that she is the most beautiful thing that he has ever
seen.) She was very swollen and bruised (she had been grinding her
head on my cervix for weeks) but I still thought that she was
absolutely gorgeous and fell completely and utterly in love with
her. I had been worried that I wouldn’t love her when she was born;
I knew that I would, but I still worried! *more stupid thoughts* I
needn’t have worried. She was weighed and dressed at 7am, all
3995gm of her – 8lb 12oz.
I was very uncomfortable and Lyn was telling me that I would feel
better when the placenta came out, but getting it out was another
story. Aria was put to my breast at 6.50am to try aid the delivery
of the placenta, but it still took another half an hour before it
finally did. It had been stuck behind my cervix, and it took a lot
of pushing and pulling to get it out. We had agreed that Lyn would
only give me syntometrine if she really thought I needed it, but she
was not concerned at all.
As the weeks have rolled by the feelings have become stronger and
stronger, and now my love for her is overflowing and at times quite
overwhelming. I can’t even put into words how she makes me feel.
Drew was so worried about me having her at home and really hated
seeing me go through that but he has now become a complete homebirth
convert and thinks everyone should have one! He raved about it for
weeks afterwards to everybody!
Anaru's Birth Story
This pregnancy had been a very scary one as the previous
year we had found out at just over 16w that our baby had
died, I miscarried a week later and we lost a baby boy
who had Down Syndrome. We named him Te Koha (The Gift).
As far as we knew this baby was fine, but there was
always an element of doubt and fear nagging away at me.
I was 39weeks 4days pregnant & late on Saturday
afternoon October 24th, I went and lay down, something
that I very rarely ever did through my pregnancy, but
for some reason I felt the need to rest a little. I’d
had a bit of a dodgy tummy that afternoon and wondered
if something was going to happen soon.
It was easy dinner night where everybody got their own,
so I had pretty much nothing to do. Aria went to bed and
every night for the past few weeks I had been telling
her that the baby might be here when she woke up, but on
this night I don’t recall saying that to her.
I watched Grand Designs and did my nails, then knew I
needed to go to bed, I was having some cramps, but that
was nothing new for this time of night as it had been
happening for weeks, but when Drew asked me if I was ok,
I really wasn’t sure how to answer, so said that I was
fine, just a bit crampy.
I lay there for ages and couldn’t sleep, which really
annoyed me as I was really tired and ‘knew’ I needed to
sleep now as I had a fair idea that I was going to get
woken during the night.
I fell asleep and was woken by what I thought was a
contraction at around 10.30pm, I really hoped this
wasn’t it because I had only been asleep for around an
hour! I lay there and tried to get back to sleep but a
few minutes later I had another contraction which was
painful enough for me to get out of bed and walk around.
My bowels felt quite strange and I wasn’t entirely sure
if I was actually in labour or whether I had an upset
tummy. I got back into bed and a few minutes later
another contraction came, this time I needed to lean on
my dresser as it was a bit more painful, this went on
until 11.20 when I thought I had better go and warn Drew
that I thought *maybe* our baby was on the way.
The look on his face when I said that I thought was in
labour was one of fear! I told him to go and get into
bed and that I would come and get him if it kept going.
I waited until midnight and then thought that I had
better call Vicky as the intensity of the contractions
was definitely increasing.
Vicky arrived at 12.30am and did an internal to find
that I was 80% effaced and around 3-4cm dilated, I was
SO disappointed!! But not for long… within 3 or 4
contractions I had gone from calmly walking and
breathing through them to leaning and having to
concentrate very hard on my breathing. At this point I
was very scared of the pain to come and didn’t think I
could do this at home, which I kept telling Vicky!
Within an hour I was begging for another internal as I
needed confirmation that the contractions were doing
their job, I was happy to hear that I was 90% effaced
and 5cm dilated.
I went and woke Drew up and told him that things were
progressing quite fast and that he should probably get
out of bed because I needed him. I was feeling quite
overwhelmed and the contractions were getting very
strong, very fast. I can recall telling Vicky several
times that I couldn’t this and needed to go to hospital
and have an epidural, she calmly replied that it was too
late for an epi but that if I wanted to go and use their
pool that we could go but that we needed to go very
soon. This gave me a little encouragement that the
labour wasn’t going to drag on, but I also knew that the
pain was going to intensify a lot more and I really did
not think that I could do it, which I kept telling her!
I was leaning on Drew through the contractions and kind
of bending my knees trying to find any position that
eased the pain. It was just after this that I got a very
painful one that I threw myself on my hands and knees
for and then crawled to the couch to lean on! This was
when Drew woke up our 16 year old daughter, Jessica,
telling her it was ‘time’ (lol) and she walked in to see
me crawling around!
I felt I was being very noisy but am assured that I was
actually quite quiet, I buried my head in the pillows,
partly because I was trying not to wake the neighbours,
but also because I felt the need to shut myself off a
bit from everybody. I demanded another internal and was
relieved to be at 8cm, one part of me was thinking, yay,
things are really close now, another was thinking, holy
crap, it’s going to get even worse!! I don’t know that
the time was, but I think it was around 2.15am. I was
wailing to Vicky that I needed it to be over and she was
telling me that it would be over when the baby was born,
but that I didn’t want the labour to be any faster
because this was fast enough. After a few more
contractions I demanded yet another internal, to which
she replied that she didn’t think there would be any
cervix to feel as she thought I was fully dilated. I was
feeling some pressure so things looked very promising. I
wanted to want to push but there was no desire, but at
2.40am I started pushing anyway, I realised my body
wasn’t ready but needed the pain to be over and this was
the only way to make that happen. I pushed for several
contractions and then put my hand down to feel the
membranes still intact as his head was being delivered,
one more contraction and my membranes broke as he was
born and Anaru Te Koha came into the world.
What a relief that it was over!!! And what an amazing
feeling to finally know what sex he was and to see that
he was absolutely & utterly perfect. 25 minutes later my
placenta was delivered and my beautiful son was put to
my breast for his first feed, oh what an amazing night!
Home births really do rock!!
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