Reid's Birth Story

Carys' Birth Story

 

The birth of Reid Zaherali George:  22 April 1998

As a family we were all really looking forward to this baby’s arrival.  After having read just about every book in circulation on birthing I decided I wanted a positive birth experience.  I had excellent support from my husband, Adil, so we decided on a waterbirth at home.

I was really determined not to go anywhere near hospital after our first son Wade’s birth, (a drug free but very painful ventouse delivery, resulting in a semi-paralysed, grizzly, bruised baby).  So I took extra careful steps to ensure I was focused and positive, that I put all my thoughts and energy into planning this baby’s arrival.

Wednesday 22^nd April arrived, Wade and I had had a busy morning out at Chartwell shopping and then lunch.  We rushed home in time for our 1pm appointment with our midwife Lyn.  Lyn’s appointments were a real highlight for Wade (2 ¾ years) as he took over the role of midwife when it came time to monitor the baby’s heartbeat.  Poor Lyn was never allowed to touch, that was the ‘little midwifes’ job!  I got the camera out for this visit (I don’t really know why) and Lyn and I took some lovely photos of Wade playing midwife.

Lyn’s assessment this visit said it all.  “Sorry Jude, he’s going to be late like Wade, he’s not engaged yet.”  I still had three days till my due date and I’d had no pains or flutters to indicate anything, so I happily accepted this.  Lyn and I talked a little more, saying she still wouldn’t be surprised if this baby was a girl (we knew he was a boy), he’ll be late for sure, and don’t worry about going into labour during the day as it just won’t happen to you! (I was worried about starting labour, as I was induced with Wade, who was 10 days late, and I wasn’t sure what would happen or if I would even know!)  Anyway, Lyn left at 2pm, and I settled Wade into bed for his sleep and settled myself down on the couch for a rest.

Fifteen minutes later my waters broke.  I thought at the time maybe I’d just wet my pants as we’d only just discussed baby being late.  However 6 pairs of undies later I knew I wasn’t losing the plot – it was my waters.  Hurray!  I rang Lyn at 3.30pm and told her my waters broke at 2.15pm, but I had no pains.  Her reply was quite calm, “that’s ok Jude, don’t expect a lot to happen, as he will probably drop down further and stem the flow.”  “We could be looking at having a baby tomorrow.”  That was exciting enough for me, Wow, it was happening.  I rang Adil at work and told him the news, but not to rush home as there was no pain and I wasn’t duly concerned.

I also rang my best friend Claire who lives in Mangakino and told her.  She’s the mother of 2 year old triplets and to get here, she needed to be organised.  She was our support person for Wades birth, and was to be again for this baby.  I told her I wasn’t concerned at the current happenings, but half an hour later (still no pains though), my intuition kicked in and I rang her back asking her to come.  I didn’t want her missing out and I felt I really needed her to be here.

I also rang Debbie our other support person and she came at 4.45pm as I felt we needed to set up the birth pool, which she did easily with Wades help.  I leant on the breakfast bar watching them and cracking jokes about this being a false labour.

Adil and I had decided to have Wade at the birth, but when he started throwing his toys in the pool and screaming “I need to have a swim”, I made the decision to have my brother come and collect him.  Luckily that was more exciting for Wade, so I had no worries about him.

Claire arrived at 5.15pm to Debbie filling the pool, Adil not home and me quite excited and breathing my way through very dull and mild contractions.  Claire suggested I lean forward into the bean bag and that she massage my back while listening to an Elton John C.D.  This worked wonders, I felt really relaxed and was actually enjoying it!

Adil arrived home to the three of us at 5.45pm and the look on his face was magic – Oh heck, it’s really happening.  He rushed around helping Debbie with filling the pool as it was still only half full.  Fifteen minutes later I suddenly felt the baby drop down and the pressure was intense.  I got quite a fright as I went from mild pain to “help me guys, I need to push now”.  The sudden urge I had had was huge and very overwhelming, making us all realise this baby was going to arrive shortly.  The look on their faces was classic, “you can’t push Jude, Lyn’s not here”.  I was ranting “I have to push”, so Debbie bargined with me to do little pushes while Claire hurriedly tracked down Lyn.  I started taking Rescue Remedy to calm down, relax and breathe more, which I did.  The girls then got me into the birth pool at 6pm.  I felt a lot more relaxed and light in the water, but I wasn’t comfortable, so Claire got in with me and I leant into her with each contraction.  Lyn arrived at 6.35pm and I heard her rushing in saying “is the baby born yet?”  I really let go and started pushing as soon as she arrived, focusing on the job at hand.  Liz our backup midwife arrived at 6.55pm and both her and Lyn were really supportive as I got nearer to the end, because I felt I couldn’t do it. 

At that point I had lost all focus and starting yelling and panicking.  I’m not really sure why, I think it was more the feeling of pressure as he was birthing, and the fact I couldn’t control what was happening to my body.  This is where the births of my boys were different – I hadn’t experienced this with Wade, and when it happened it gave me a big fright.  However upon feeling that his head was out I had a quick breather and a speck of time to re-focus, telling myself to stay calm.  Everyone gave me heaps of encouragement and at 7.34pm. 1 ½ hours after ‘my real pains’ had started, Reid Zaherali George was born very gently and calmly into the water.  

I remember Adil’s amazement at seeing him being born, as it was something we all missed out on with Wades birth.  Reid weighed 3600gms (8lb) and was absolutely beautiful, with a head full of thick, jet black hair.  He was initially shocked, because of his rather fast arrival, and didn’t want to breathe so Lyn rubbed him and we all talked to him.  He opened his eyes and gazed around at the faces lovingly looking at him.  Lyn decided to get Adil to cut his cord before it stopped pulsing as he wasn’t breathing, and Liz gave him some oxygen, which he didn’t like, but it did the trick.

Afterwards it was wonderful to be able to snuggle up on the couch surrounded by our families and of course Wade, who got there ¾ of an hour after the birth.  He loudly declared to everyone “I proud of my bruvver and he’s berftable”!

Adil and I want so much to thank our wonderful friends Claire and Debbie, Liz, our backup midwife and of course Lyn our midwife.  Lyn’s friendship has meant so much to us.  She has cared for and supported us through both pregnancies, always there for us if needed.

I feel very strongly that words can’t really express my feelings about Reid’s birth.  It was the most positive powerful experience I have ever had.  It was the birth I had dreamt of having and couldn’t have asked for it to be any better.

Claire also described the birth as a wonderful experience for her, as she could feel every contraction and movement from Reid as he birthed.  Her Mum said afterwards she came home on a real high, almost like she had had the baby!

I also feel really proud of myself that I never once thought or asked about drugs or hospital, instead relying on Rescue Remedy, massage, positive thoughts and heaps of cold ice to munch on!!

 

 

The birth of Carys Shirin Ann:  21 September 1999

After having our boys, Wade in hospital followed by Reid (a waterbirth) at home, there was no doubt that I’d be having this baby at home as well.  Still, I found it quite amazing that a lot of people assumed I’d be heading back to hospital for this birth – why, I’ll never know.

This 3^rd pregnancy was such an eventful one.  I had spent virtually the whole pregnancy sick with so many ills, chills and tummy bugs I’d picked up, not to mention the morning sickness, that I found myself wondering if this child would ever turn out normal!  Secretly though, I wondered perhaps if it would be a girl, as I’d not had a days sickness with the boys.  This pregnancy was certainly so different.  I had been having quite strong Braxton hicks contractions from about 34 weeks, with a few good runs of them at 37 weeks which got me thinking this is the real thing.  However nothing really ever seemed to eventuate, and I spent a lot of my time huffing and puffing just to get by!

So at 38 weeks when I woke up at 3am on Monday 20 September with some real powerful crampy contractions I still thought nothing of it.  I managed to sleep in between them, and got through to 8am to see Adil off to work.  My day was already well mapped out with two sick children to look after and it pouring with rain outside.  I virtually spent the day on the couch with the boys, dozing on and off (thank goodness they were sick), still having contractions 15-30 minutes apart.  They weren’t definite, but the difference in them to the previous ones made me a little sure perhaps this was it.  Adil arrived home and got the boys fed and into bed while I stayed on the couch.  At 7.45pm Adil was heading out to cricket practice and I asked him to stay home as I didn’t feel I wanted to be left alone that night.

At 8pm I got up to go to the loo, as I’d had another strong contraction and a real urge to go to the toilet.  I discovered I’d had a little show, and was amazed at how excited I felt.  I phoned Lyn straight away, as Reid’s labour was quick, so we wanted to be prepared for this baby’s arrival.  She said to phone back when they’d got stronger and closer.  40 minutes later Adil rang her back as they’d quite quickly gone to 7 minutes apart and much stronger.  We phoned our two support people, Jo and Claire, and they both arrived along with Lyn around 9.30pm.  Once the contractions got stronger I felt heaps of pressure on my lower back and tail bone.  Jo was putting ice on my back to help ease the pain and Claire administered heaps of Rescue Remedy and massage to help divert the pain.  The ice worked wonders!  It actually numbed my lower back completely, it didn’t make me feel cold, but surprisingly made my feet very cold!

We were joined by Reid (17mths) at 10.30pm, who calmly sat in the bean bag for about 2 ½ hours watching the labour process.  We were all amazed at how he never seemed frightened, just sitting and observing all that was going on.  By 11.30pm the contractions had actually got really intense and I found being on my knees leaning into the couch really comfortable.  I really wanted to push by now as the pressure was incredible and the back pain was almost too much to bear.  Lyn suggested I try to push with the next few contractions, but as soon as I started I knew that the baby wasn’t ‘there’, I couldn’t feel anything.

I remember just wanting to give up and go to bed at this stage, the pain was so intense and I couldn’t focus on anything to get rid of it.  The baby’s head was moving heaps, grinding around the cervix area, which was also quite painful.  Lyn had a good feel of the baby’s position (no internals though), and then said those words I didn’t want to hear, “Jude, I think this baby’s slightly posterior”.  She suggested I lie down on the floor on my side and breathe through the next ½ hours contractions to help the baby move.  It was the 2^nd time that night I just wanted to give up and I remember shedding a few tears at the thought of having to lie down, let alone all the intense feelings I had about just wanting to see my baby.

However, with the fantastic support I had from Adil, Jo and Claire, I managed it.  I felt almost calm in between contractions, as all 3 surrounded me and massaged, held my hands, with Jo helping me to visualise beautiful places to be.  Everybody had positive encouragement, which helped me so much to getting closer to delivering my baby.  At 1.15am the contractions had finally moved to my front and I could absolutely no longer breathe through them.  I sat back up on my knees and lent into Adil who was sitting on the couch.  I started to push again and almost immediately I could feel the baby’s head.  By now Jo had taken up her position with the video camera, and Lyn and Claire were waiting for the baby to arrive!  When I look back on the video now, the pushing seemed to be the easiest part, as I was more in control of my body.  I didn’t have as much of the burning pain I’d had with Reid and I could feel my baby’s head emerging slowly but surely.  I was also very vocal at this point, and I felt this was a good way to release my feelings of all the pain I’d worked my way through!  Claire was getting quite excited, talking me through the pushing as baby’s head emerged.  Lyn had kept a hot cloth on my perineum, which actually felt good, and had given me direction with my pushing.  I actually felt quite safe with the cloth there and each time she moved it to warm it up again, I literally begged her to put it back!

At 1.46am with one last push our baby arrived into the hands of Claire, who was overwhelmed.  Jo was trying to video with a running nose (from a cold), a let down (she’s still breastfeeding) and tears and laughter, it makes really good viewing!!

After the baby was born I lent into Adil and took some deep breaths, had a few tears and tried to refocus on myself for a moment.  I then heard Claire saying “he’s born, he’s here Jude”.  I remember turning quickly to look as Lyn untangled her cord, which was firmly stuck between her legs.  “It’s a girl”, we all said at the same time!  How fantastic.  Baby Carys Shirin Ann had finally arrived, 7lb 7oz, 2 weeks early with loads of black hair, a beautiful perfect specimen.

 

Wade (4yrs) had just woken up (I found out later, this was because of all my ‘yelling’), as she was being born, he was totally overawed.  He sat on Adils knee and watched everything, helping Adil to cut Carys’ cord.  He was also intrigued with all the ‘good blood’ and the placenta, not to mention Lyn’s big scissors.  However ½ hour later all he really wanted was to know if Carys had brought him a present!

Adil and I want so much to thank our 2 good friends, Jo and Claire.  Jo, who along with her 3 children had our 2 so many times while I was sick.  Her endless supply of meals and the fabulous support and friendship she has given us is so valuable, a true friend indeed.  Claire, who has been there for all 3 of our children’s births, a huge tower of strength, love and support, another valuable and true friend.

And last but not least our friend and midwife Lyn, who has seen us through all 3 very different births.  She has been there for us when needed, giving us so much valued support and encouragement.  We are so lucky to of had her friendship over the last 5 years.  There is nothing I would have done differently.

Thank you Lyn.

 

Birth Story of Carys Shirin Ann:  21 September 1999
As told by Wade, aged 4 years.

My Dad came and got me up.

Jo tried to wake me up.  I didn’t want to come down with Jo.

I came into the lounge. I saw the baby and Uncle Claire and Jo and Lyn and my Dad and Mummy.

I got woken up by Mummy going arrrrrah.

I saw the baby.  I sit on Dads knee.  Dad hold me.

My Dad cut the cord with Lyn’s scissors.

The blood dripped on Mummy’s shirt.

My Dad used to let me go and let me have lots of cuddles with Carys.

The placenta came from Mummy’s vagina and into Lyn’s icecream container.

The placenta tipped into the grass and planted for Carys’ new garden.

Carys look little.  She had lots of sticky hair.

Carys had lots of toes.  I love her.  She’s my little man.

Carys had a thing on her belly button to block the middle.

I got action man.  Reid got a car.

Lyn had big scissors and a big case.

The scissors are to cut the cord, they are bigger and huge.

 A note from Mum:

When asked what was the best thing about Carys being born, he replied;

“My action man and Lyn had big huge scissors”!

 

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