My husband Simon has always been difficult
to buy presents for. It isn’t that he is fussy or anything – he just
doesn’t need anything and is perfectly content with the simple things in life
(probably on account of his wife being a rather complex character). Anyway, just
over three years ago I birthed our first born, Maia, at home into his waiting
hands, at 10.30 am on his birthday – finally getting him something he wanted
for his birthday. When I got
pregnant last year, with an estimated due date of 28th December I
expected that the baby would arrive a week or so after that date (as Maia was
born a week or so after her estimated due date). But as usual, I was completely
wrong!
This second pregnancy was quite different
from the first. For a start, I didn’t go off coffee or tuna fish but I did go
off curry (much to Simon’s distress – whenever I was away he cooked up loads
of curry!). I also seemed to get every flu bug and virus going around, including
one that caused severe coughing fits (not much fun when one’s pelvic floor
muscles aren’t doing a great job of containing one’s bladder contents –
but let’s not go into too much detail about that!) Aside from those things the
rest was pretty similar – have some nausea for three months, be tired a lot,
get bigger and bigger and bigger and grow the baby !
By the beginning of December I was feeling
rather huge and was getting a lot of Braxton Hicks (practice contractions).
While I had a lot of Braxton Hicks all the way through both pregnancies, these
ones in late November / early December were more frequent and more intense. So I
somehow thought this baby would arrive early but the weeks went by and the baby
moved lower and lower into the pelvis until by the week before Christmas, baby
was very definitely engaged.
On the Sunday afternoon (22/12) before
Christmas I was making a cup of tea in the kitchen when my waters broke. I had a
sensation of needing to go to the toilet, which surprised me as I had just been
to the toilet. But I started walking towards the bathroom and didn’t make it
before there was a small ‘flood’ of clear fluid. I was not 100% sure that
this was my waters breaking as, with Maia, my waters broke during the final
stages of labour when I was in the birth pool. I phoned Maggie (midwife) and
discussed what had happened and it was fairly certain this was my waters
breaking. Maggie explained that I would probably go into labour within the next
48 hours, and discussed precautions about infection (e.g. having baths rather
than showers) and ensuring I drank lots of water to maintain fluid around the
baby.
By the next morning I hadn’t gone into
labour, my waters weren’t leaking, and I was beginning to wonder whether I had
imagined things. I was also worried about having to go to hospital if I didn’t
go into labour within a couple of days, worrying if the baby was okay, and
really just feeling unsure. Maggie came to visit that morning to check the baby
(who had a fine strong heartbeat) and talked with me. We discussed my concerns and my ‘unsureness’ and after
talking through the options and so on I felt reassured that I wouldn’t have to
go to hospital just because I hadn’t laboured for two days (what a relief!).
Because I was feeling worried about the baby, Maggie suggested that some
acupuncture might be a good idea to encourage labour.
I booked in for a session of ‘ the
needles’. The acupuncture was great and gave me time to lie around and think
about my state of mind – why was I unsure etc. I realised that I had not
consciously thought about this baby’s birth except to assume it would happen
at some point, and that whilst I was prepared in some ways (I had sorted out the
baby clothes for example) I was not personally
prepared for it. I also realised that Simon and I had some things to talk about
in relation to having baby no. 2. After the acupuncture we (Simon, Maia and I)
went for a walk to the park where Maia played and Simon and I talked and
generally just relaxed. By the next day (Christmas eve), my unsureness was gone
and I was feeling perfectly content about the impending birth and not at all
worried about when it might happen – I just knew that it would some time and I
was okay about that. I decided to have another acupuncture session that evening,
which again was very relaxing (I even fell asleep) and went to bed later that
night (after wrapping the last of the Christmas presents), quite content and
relaxed.
At 2am I woke up with regular contractions.
I decided to get up so as not to wake Simon (as I figured he would be having a
busy day and needed to get some sleep), made myself a hot water bottle, and went
and lay on the couch. I actually felt like walking around but since it was 2am I
also wanted to get some sleep! So I
dozed on the couch and watched the video clock to see how often I was having
contractions – it was an interesting pattern – I had a contraction, then
nine minutes later had another one, then five minutes later had another one then
it was back to the nine minutes, then five minutes and so on. By 4am I had
fallen asleep and awoke at 6am with another contraction and went back to sleep
until 7am when I had another contraction. So by 7am the contractions had got
further apart (about ½ hourly) and were less intense. So, when Maia and Simon
woke up, I told Simon I was in labour, Maia opened her stocking from
Santa, I had a contraction or two and then I phoned Maggie to let her know.
Maggie popped in at 10am (after we’d
finished our champagne / sparkling grape juice breakfast) to listen to the baby.
I was still having mild contractions about every half hour or so.
We decided to continue with our day, so packed up the presents and went
round to Simon’s sister Tracey’s to open them and have Christmas lunch. For
the rest of the morning and early afternoon I had contractions which by about
2pm were getting a bit more ‘ouchy’ but I managed to eat lunch, skipped
dessert and just as the dishes needed to be done at about 3pm, decided that we
needed to go home !
We left Maia with Tracey and said we’d
call when we wanted her home for the birth and made our way home. Contractions
were now closer together and getting more intense. So we got things set up
inside - ie Simon got the birth
mat, started to fill the birth pool and organised hot towels. I was walking
around quite a bit and using the hot towels on my back and stomach. I also found
that I wanted to squat and rock during contractions, neither of which I had done
during my first labour. After awhile I moved into the bathroom and sat on the
toilet, still using the hot towels for the contractions. At one point I got
hungry and asked for barley sugars which we didn’t have so Simon got me a red
lollipop!
At around 5.30pm I asked Simon to call
Maggie and student midwife Tracey, to attend and also get Auntie Tracey to bring
Maia as I felt that the birth was fairly imminent. By 6pm everyone had arrived
and that changed the dynamics of the place as Maia charged around at her usual
full speed, chatting away and everyone else got themselves organised. So what
had been a very quiet, just Simon and I, kind of atmosphere was now filled with
four more people. It took me a while to adjust to the new atmosphere and decide
where I wanted to be – which, incidentally, was still in the bathroom with the
hot towels, despite a brief move back to the lounge at one point.
The hour from 6pm until 7.00 was a very
intense one – I felt hot then cold, desperately thirsty and drank lots of
water in between contractions, the contractions intensified and I felt like
pushing which I did start to do. I did move back into the lounge when it was
clear that the baby was close to coming out. I got into a squatting position
leaning back into the couch and within a few minutes the contractions were so
intense I started yelling … loudly! The baby’s head was crowning and then
started to come out during what felt like a long slow-motion, painful
contraction. Although one part of me thought that pushing the head out slowly
was a good thing because it meant I would probably stretch more and be less
likely to tear, the other part of me wanted it to be over more quickly as it
hurt! I could see the head coming out over my tummy which was
pretty awesome then with great relief the head was out. Almost immediately I
felt the baby turning and knew that I wasn’t going to get a break in the
contractions – the next one was on its way to birth the body. I did say “the
baby’s coming” as for some reason I worried that the others weren’t paying
attention (they were of course!) and might be expecting a break before the body
was born. So then with the next
contraction Samara Kathleen slid out into her Daddy’s hands at 7.09pm and was
handed up to me.
I was so surprised she was a girl as I had
thought I was having a boy. I remember saying “ are you sure it’s a girl?”
and checked again – definitely girl’s bits!
Maia looked at her and said “yes, but he has a boy’s head!”
(because of her short hair!). So
first a birthday gift for Simon, then a Christmas gift and as I said to Simon
“you shouldn’t be so hard to buy for!”
The following few weeks were
quite hard work as Samara and I struggled a bit with the breastfeeding which I
found quite depressing as I had hoped that the second time around wouldn’t be
as difficult as it had been with Maia. But there you have it – just proved to
me that while natural, breastfeeding is also an art that each baby and mother
have to learn together. At least I knew from having breastfed one baby, that it
would get easier and I just had to persevere. I then developed a breast
infection and spent new year’s eve in bed with a temperature and had to take
antibiotics for ten days. Maia,
whilst terribly excited about the whole thing (Christmas, Santa, presents and
new baby), was totally wired for almost two weeks which was exhausting for
everyone. She did come down to earth after a couple of weeks although she has
had her moments as we all adjust to having a fourth wee person in the house.
