Dylan's Birth Story
Shaun's Birth Story
Celina's Birth Story
Dylan's Birth Story
May 1994 - 8lb5
I found out I was pregnant with Dylan while we were living in the UK on a
working holiday - we were very excited as we’d planned to start trying and
hopefully be pregnant by the time we returned home - we just didn’t expect
it to happen straight away! We did a home test and that was positive so I went
to the local doctor who told me it was too early to be sure and anyway I had a
one in three chance of miscarriage! I came home in tears and that was the last
time I would see a doctor in pregnancy! I was 5mths pregnant by the time we
returned home to New Zealand. We found a midwife and my whole pregnancy went very smoothly. A scan
at 20 weeks confirmed we were having a boy (which was a surprise as somehow
I'd assumed we'd have a girl first!). During my pregnancy I read just
about every book ever written on birth and was very keen to have a natural
intervention free birth and was very attracted to the idea of home birth
however I let others doubts influence me and compromised by planning to birth
at our small local rural birthing unit.
At 38 weeks Dylan was still posterior and I was
warned if he didn’t turn I could be in for a long labour and a transfer to a
larger hospital (yuck!) so on my midwifes advice I borrowed a rocking birth
stool from the birthing centre and rocked and rocked and rocked for the
next two weeks to try and convince him to turn! Two days before my due date I
was watching TV at around 9pm when I felt a sticky feeling and went to the toilet
to discover quite a bit of blood and a show. I was a bit worried about this as I’d only
been expecting spotting so I rang my midwife who said not to worry unless it
didn’t stop within half an hour which it did. After a bout of diarrhoea
(and a good dose of nerves!) we decided we’d better get some sleep as we knew it could be
awhile before anything else happened.
At 11pm I realised I was getting very
mild contractions but they weren’t very painful and I was still able to
sleep until about 1am when I would get out of bed and rock through each one
and then go back to bed. At 3.30am I sat up and whoosh my waters broke with a
huge gush and the contractions became more intense. I took a shower and got
changed and then decided we’d better ring the midwife although we really didn’t
want to bother her so early in the morning as we figured we probably still had hours and
hours to go. She asked us how close together they were and it was only then we
realised they were only 3 minutes apart. We still weren’t too concerned as I
felt I was coping OK and told her not to hurry but luckily she did as within
half an hour they had got much longer and stronger and then suddenly it took
all my effort to keep in control and I was on my hands and knees rocking
through each contraction and they were coming one after other and I was
thinking 'oh my god I still have hours and hours more to go' !! David thinking it
might be awhile before he could eat again decided
to heat up some leftovers to keep him going for this 'long' labour - well I took one whiff and promptly
threw up - lovely! Then suddenly I had an overwhelming urge to push which
completely shocked me and threw David into a tail-spin!
When only a few
minutes later I had another pushing urge we decided we weren’t too keen on
handling this alone so we rang the midwife on her mobile phone and arranged to
meet her at the birth centre. In between the contractions David was rushing
around trying to get us organised to go and would have to rush
back to me every few minutes when another contraction hit as I really needed him with me. Then came the
worst trip of my life - kneeling in the back seat of the car trying not to
push as we drove the 15min journey at high speed - very scary! We arrived just
after 6am and the walk up the corridor to the birthing room was the longest
of my life! I climbed up on the bed on my hands and knees and remember asking
the midwife how far dilated I was - she said 'its too late for that just push
when you feel the urge' - I still didn’t believe her until David told me
he could see his head! So I pushed and at 6.20am Dylan quite
literally dropped out onto the bed (I'd been squatting and the midwife took her
hand from his head for just a second!) and he let out a huge roar. Both David
& I just looked at him in astonishment until the midwife said 'pick him
up' so we did and of course he was just beautiful! My memorable first words
to him were 'ooh you smell funny' (amniotic fluid). After a few cuddles Dylan
was weighed and checked while I was stitched up - this was definitely the
worst part for me but because of his too quick exit I had quite a big tear.
Afterwards I asked the midwife how many stitches I’d had and she said
'don’t ask' but I’ve since found out it was very close to being a third
degree tear and I was very lucky!
After Dylan’s birth I stayed at the birth centre for 5 days and while it was OK I was bored - I was
almost the only person in
the centre most of that week and I felt very alone with this new baby plus the bed was
lumpy! I missed David dreadfully and he says he didn’t feel like a 'real'
father until we came home. I started to realise that my birth had been so
straightforward that I could have just as easily stayed at home and saved all
the stress of that mad dash! 18mths later I had a miscarriage at
10 weeks and an overnight stay in hospital made me realise I didn’t want to
go down the hospital road again! I was delighted to fall pregnant again just a
few weeks later and this time I was determined to have a home birth.
(Photo taken about an hour after Dylan's birth -
his birth happened so quickly we didn't have time to get the camera from the
car!)
Shaun's Birth Story
OCTOBER 1996 - 8lb10
Once again I had a very normal pregnancy and were delighted to discover at
the 18 week scan that Dylan was to get a brother. On the morning of my due
date I woke knowing something was happening so after my fast experience last
time we got organised! I phoned the midwife to let her know and called
my younger sister who was to join us as well. But by 9am nothing more was
happening so I sent my husband off to work with his pager and spent the
morning with my sister feeling like a fraud! By lunchtime I was getting
impatient for something to start happening (especially with David phoning
every ½ hr to see if he should come home!) so off we went for a walk around
the block. This seemed to work and by 3pm the contractions were still mild but
10min apart. David was called home and by 5pm the contractions were getting
stronger and closer.
Around this time my midwife phoned to see what was
happening and to ask if we needed her or if she could go to her university night class.
I said I didn’t think that was a good idea and within 10min was back on
the phone telling her maybe she should come over as the contractions were
definitely getting stronger but not to rush as my waters
hadn’t gone yet. She said sometimes they don’t go till the end and that
she would come straight away. By the time she arrived at 5.30 I was in
transition and by the time she had set up I was ready to push. I had been
walking around the house and rocking and swaying through the contractions but
moved to the bedroom when I started to feel I wanted to push. We had decided
on a hands and knees position to try and avoid another tear and I breathed my
way through the contractions giving only a few very gentle pushes (I’d read it
was 80% contraction 20% mothers effort anyway!) David and the midwife were
laughing and joking and telling me how well I was doing and I was thinking
this is just way too normal!
My waters
started to leak with each contraction and at
6.20pm Shaun was born on our bedroom floor and was greeted by two delighted
parents, my very happy emotional sister (who’d had to stand in for the
second midwife who hadn’t arrived in time!!) and very soon after a very
excited older brother who’d been at McDonalds for dinner with his Uncle!
As
soon as the placenta was birthed I climbed into our bed and gave Shaun his
first breastfeed. Everything felt so normal and it was great to be in my own
environment and be able to do what I wanted. Soon after the rest of our families
arrived to meet the new arrival and after I had a shower and a change of
clothes we ordered takeaways for tea (fish and chips) which really tasted
great after all the hard work! A few hours later all our families went home
and we all went to bed! With no tear (yippee!) I was up and about in no time.
It was great to be surrounded by my family and friends from day one but best
of all was sleeping in my very own comfy bed!
(Photo taken on our bedroom floor seconds after his birth)
Celina's
Birth Story
November 1998 - 8lb13
My pregnancy and labour with Celina was definitely my most challenging
though as with most things looking back it doesn't seem so bad and she was
certainly worth the wait! We had just been starting to think about another
baby and had stopped being quite so careful and were thrilled to discover I
was pregnant again. From the beginning the whole pregnancy was very different
to my previous two and I felt very nauseous in the first few weeks. A scan at
18 weeks showed 'probably' a girl so we were very excited. One concern was
that the placenta was low and partially 'previa' but we were assured the
chances of it not moving were less than 3% but decided to have another scan at
32 weeks to be certain especially with my history of fast labour's. The next
scan showed the placenta had moved up enough and once again showed a girl -
this time we got really excited and we started thinking of 'her'.
It sure seemed to
be a long pregnancy - I guess by the time you get to #3 the novelty has worn
off a bit! By 37 weeks I was starting to show signs of being 'ready' and even
my midwife felt maybe this baby would be early so we got organised! At 39 weeks I
woke in the middle of the night about 3am with light cramps. Though mild they
were 5 - 10min apart so given my history I decided I’d better let everyone
know. I was especially concerned about my husband David getting home in time
as he worked night shift as a fitter in an underground coal mine and would take
1½ hours minimum to get out of the tunnel, showered and home. I was able to
get a message to him and also phoned my sister who was only ½ hr drive away.
The contractions continued steady but still very mild and I pottered around
getting the birth pool filled, towels out etc. But by early morning the
contractions had almost petered out then after a few hours break they were
suddenly back and this time they had some more kick.
Remembering Shaun’s
birth I set off walking to try and help things along. The contractions continued for about
2 hours and just when we though some action was about to begin they suddenly
stopped completely! I just couldn’t work out what was going on! My midwife
called in that afternoon and we decided to do an internal (my first ever in
pregnancy & labour!) and found I was 3cm dilated so that was at least some
progress so everyone went home assuring me they’d be back in the night! Well
they were not and for another week we waited - everyone had a theory on when
it would happen but day by day the dates went past and suddenly I was past my
due date for the first time ever! At two days past my due date I had a
non-stress test done (another first! - 20minutes on a fetal heart monitor) and
of course she was fine - I could have told them it was me that was stressed
not her! I also had another quick 2 minute scan to definitely rule out the low
placenta as the cause of the head not dropping right down and labour stalling
but this time we could see it had moved up even higher so that was a relief!
Another internal showed I was now 5cm and my cervix more thinned so at least
some progress was being made! My midwife did a stretch and sweep on my cervix and again
we hoped that would start something but still nothing! I began to feel really
stressed - the waiting, constant phone calls and enquires if I’d 'had the
baby yet' had me in tears more than a few times and I was letting the answer
machine do a lot of 'screening'!! Another worry was that we knew that when it
did happen it was likely to be quite fast so I couldn’t go far and I felt
very 'housebound' While I knew it was normal to go to 42 or even 43 weeks that
had never happened to me before with both boys being either early or on-time
and this had all been made worse by the pre-labour and expectation that I
would be early.
On Wednesday I had a small show in the morning and then late
in the afternoon a heavy one - yippee I though this is it - but still we
waited and nothing! I was given the option of seeing a specialist who’d be
able to authorise an induction (which would just mean breaking my waters as I
was so well dilated already) but the big catch with this was it would have to
be done at the local birth centre - not a bad place but not the wonderful home
birth I’d planned - in fact I just couldn’t visualise labouring anywhere
other than at home as I’d never done it before and I knew I wouldn’t be as relaxed
and happy as I would be at home. We decided to give her a few more days but
I was like a yoyo - one minute worrying and thinking I want this over and the
next thinking I would wait it out! I decided to try and just take things one
day at a time and keep as busy as possible - I was mowing lawns, digging
gardens, anything to keep me busy! Early on Sunday morning I was woken by my
son Shaun who was having a bad dream and stood up feeling quite funny and then
felt a gush of waters and realised something was finally happening and I was
so excited! Soon after some contractions started up but they had no pattern
and could be five minutes apart and then two hours!
I called my midwife in
the morning and she arranged to come at 2pm if nothing happened before. We
tried to carry on as normal but it was hard to not be caught between
excitement and fear that it would all stop again! By the time she arrived
there was really no progress and I was feeling very teary and uptight. She
said she’d check me again and I was now at 7cm with my cervix totally
thinned - pretty good for still not being in real labour!! She could still
feel a bag of waters bulging and guessed that it was my hind waters that had
broken. She said that the way things were she thought the rest of my waters
would break very soon and then things would happen very fast. My worry though
was David was due to go back to work that night and not only was I not keen on
being left alone but also if nothing happened before then he was almost sure
to not make it home in time. So I asked my midwife whether she could break the rest of my
waters. We had a talk about this option and in the end she agreed she
would if I asked her to. I quickly said yes please - we
were more than ready for this baby! I said thank you to her and then joked
that when labour started I’d probably not be thanking her! Then I called my Sister,
Mum, Sister-in-law and Mother-in-law to tell them it was time to head over.
After about ½ an hour the contractions started and within another
½ an hour they were 10 minutes apart and I was most comfortable standing. My
midwife said she would go to do some shopping to give us some peace and would
be back in around an hour. Just before she got back the contractions started
to get really intense and I had to start working through them - she arrived
back in the middle of a particularly big one and said well it looks like we
are going to have a baby soon and called the student midwife to come. I found
the contractions with this labour required quite a lot of mental effort to work
through - unlike my other labour's they were not all similar and would vary in
strength and type from one to the next - sometimes I wanted David to rub my
back etc and others I just wanted to be on my own. As the contractions became
more pushy I was sick - this is I think one of the most miserable experiences
- retching at one end and cramping at the other!
Realising how close things
were getting the discussion turned to where I wanted to be to birth. I had
the birth pool all set up but with the weather being quite warm I was feeling
the heat and it just didn’t look as inviting as it might have in cooler
weather or at night. Also she was still lying posterior and being upright felt
more comfy than lying back or squatting in the pool. I had made a birth mat so
ended up standing on that holding onto the side of the pool. I found it very
hard to relax into this labour - with Shaun’s homebirth I’d been totally
in control and it all 'flowed' but this time with all the drama in the weeks
before I think I was just waiting for something to go wrong again so was more
tense and had to work really hard at not losing control. My legs started to
shake from standing so I moved onto my hands and knees and rested my head on
some pillows on the couch. Between contractions I didn’t want to move at all
just stay totally still - it was like I had to conserve every ounce of energy!
To me the pushing didn’t seem very productive and I found myself beginning
to wonder how much longer then I had a really unusual contraction (which I now
realise was her turning anterior) and with the next contraction I felt the head
and a productive push. With the next contraction I felt the head crown
and then suddenly in a gush she was here! I was so surprised as I had though
we still had a way to go.
My midwife wrapped her in a towel and passed her to
David - everyone was ooing and arring and I sat back feeling very stunned then
said 'what is it, is it a girl'? David was all smiles and saying 'you beauty'
and I had to say again 'is it a girl' twice and the second time more loudly
before after what seemed like hours but was probably seconds he replied 'yes'. He
passed her to me and we had our first cuddles. The midwife offered David the
chance to cut the cord but he was too engrossed in his new daughter and had
done it twice before so his sister ended up doing it. This was really nice as she’d
arrived feeling very apprehensive about the whole birth/pain thing and ended
up totally in awe of the whole experience. (She has since gone on the birth
all of her children at home). Dylan and Shaun had been around for
most of the labour and most of the time I’d been pushing they’d been just metres away eating their dinner without showing any amount of concern! At one
stage Dylan had come in and had a good look and asked if the baby was coming
yet but when he was told not yet ran back outside to play with Grandad who was
keeping out of the way! They missed the actual birth but when they heard she
was here they ran inside and the looks on their faces were magic!
Everyone
else in the room was buzzing too and it felt so neat to have all that
excitement surrounding you. The next few hours were just fabulous - the best
part of the home birth experience in my opinion. It was like a big birthday
party - my father-in-law arrived and then my brother-in-law who’d been
scuba diving for the day and had got some crayfish (lobster) and scallops so
the men took over the kitchen and cooked them up and we washed them down with
a glass of champagne. Celina was passed around and
cuddled by everyone while I had a shower and made some phone calls and e-mails announcing her
arrival !! It was amazing how good I felt - even within the first hour it was
as if I’d hardly had a baby - no stitches is definitely the key to that!
Later after everyone was gone (having cleaned up, tidied up and put the boys
to bed for us!) David and I cuddled down in our own bed and lay talking about
all that had happened and our plans for the future. For us there could be no
other way - home birth is the best!
She's
finally here! - big brothers Dylan & Shaun take a closer
look at their new sister)
